I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
