The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
