instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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