i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
