so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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