i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
