they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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