is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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