Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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