the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
