I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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