We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
She announced her abortion via fbk
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
