I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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