what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's always time for handjobs
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
