hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
