I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
