This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
