so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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