Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so let's talk penis.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
