Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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