dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
