The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
