Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
