Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
