Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
