Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
