Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
