I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
