She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
