we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
