member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
