Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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