did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
