I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
