when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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