I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
