youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I am one with the molecules
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
