he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I want to fling myself into the sun
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
