At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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