I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Sext me about skeletons
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
