Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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