He had one of those small greek statue penises
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
