and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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