i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
