Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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