Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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