He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i've created a new STD.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
