Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
