I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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