I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
