Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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