why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
